My Donor Dad - Welcome!

We are now realising how important it is that children know where they come from- as we hear of the sadness and sense of loss- or incomplete 'identity' when finding out they were adopted, or born through egg or sperm donation, or surrogacy. Some children (now adults) born through anonymous sperm donation for example are now speaking out of their experiences- some good- some not so good- but the majority speak of wanting to know their biological origins. Anonymous sperm donation is being abolished in many countries, as the child's needs and rights are being more carefully considered.


However even when a 'known donor' is used, the child (and parents) are still in the dark until they are fully grown. The Child Listener™ believes that this needs to be addressed - and alternatives found- so that future generations of children do not need to go through life not knowing where they come from.
Partly because of this, she created the 'Free Sperm Donations Worldwide - FSDW' web site in 2003- connecting women and couples with sperm donors who are not only willing to be known, but to actually in many cases be known to the child before 18. Alternative arrangements are being made- with some donors playing an active part in the child's life as 'Donor Dad'  - and some even co-parenting.  With all arrangements issues are discussed before the conception even takes place. Choices are being made with the focus being on the child who, if conceived using a traditional sperm donor (eg through a sperm bank) would not be able to know anything of his 'Donor Dad' until 18.

The focus throughout the 'Children Deserve' site is that it is nurture rather than nature (especially PARENTING ) that determines the emotional and social development of young children- even though EVERY CHILD has the right to know of his biological origins, as early as possible.
We support those raising adopted and donor conceived children- and those born through surrogacy- regardless of whether they are the biological parents, or not. Promoting Positive Parenting.
Also note that we take little heed to those who seek to imply, or who purposely seek out to prove, that being born through sperm or egg donation, or surrogacy (or where adopted) means that these children are destined - or more likely- to lead troubled lives. Or that children 'should' be raised only by straight, married fertile couples in order to have the best chance of happiness and success in life.
The experiences of children born through anonymous sperm donation is currently being widely discussed - especially on the internet- as several adults are now requesting- in court- that they be told of their origins. These were children who had no choice with regards to what information they would want to receive. However these men chose to remain anonymous- so should the laws be retrospectively be changed- and does this mean that the child's right to know of his origins is considered more important than the rights of the parents who chose the donor, wanting anonimity at the time, and the man who donated - choosing anonimity?

On the 'My Donor Dad' site we also encourage people to discuss issues relating to alternative arrangements made outside of the 'system', including co-parenting without romance.
We encourage donors to speak in confidence of their experiences - and for us to learn from arrangements that appear to be working for all. Are there solutions?